Awakening

The dread of pain
dawning on the mind
dragging the heart
sinking the stomach

The dread is so great
that the snake unfolds its hood
the snake that was previously a swan
floating on a blissful lake
touching gently all that it meets
only sweet notes arising

The dread, stones becoming boulders
again & again raining in, as years go by
the snake determined to protect his swan
till the swan is hidden by the coils
of the emboldened, empowered snake
the swan that blossoms now
only in solitude.

The snake wrings, wraps & hisses
at the hint of a pebble
But the swan is watching now
Trying to break free 
from what was once her protector

He writhes without her consent
in mindless fury
Buried under him, solitude is the only way
to ensure she still lives.

If she does break free, can she survive?
without the snake
she has to become translucent
to wisps of sweet smelling ether
through which all can pass
none can stay
engulfing the world
in sandalwood laden bliss.

Half an eye

I shall not reveal all of that I am,
Lest I be shamed for my play

I shall not spread my wings for all to see
Lest I be put in my place

I shall not bring forth my small successes
Lest I be reminded, how small they are

I shall not open my heart
Lest I be told that I should be someone else

I look within, because without, has failed me child
I show only that which I know
will be a clap on my back
because all else, is a rejection
of my tries, my failures, my lessons. 

Fear not, my love

Fear not, my love

You are a golden sunshine

That is meant to blaze the streets

As you stride in jolly gait

Fear not, beautiful one

You are the charming fox

Who is meant to cast the spell 

Of sideward glances and loving looks

Cower not, my sweet

You are not what they said you are

Throw away that burden they set upon

Your now frail shoulders

Do you remember how you were

The glint in the eye

The voice of a string instrument

What did they do to you, my love

What did they do to you, my sweet

Fear not, mine and mine

You will see you were never burdened

By everything they said 

It was just a wave, that you held dear 

That you thought weakened you

But it never did,

It disappeared into the ocean

Of you 

I will cradle your heart in mine

My love

The broken heart wounded by all

That searched for love

That it so deserved

I will cradle it till it heals

And then your heart will soar 

Like a lion you will roar 

You'll see what you are

Not burdened, not cowered

But a blaze of shining light

My love

-25 July 2024

Invisible Love

A glimmer of love in the darkest heart
Of the violent man who has never been loved
or has received it but not recognised it
Violent, always with the wounded hearts

The pain, a shadow in pitch dark
That comes from
not believing in the love
Of sieving out only the wrongs
and blinding out the tenderness

What human fatality is this?
That walls us up from the obvious love
of the breath that goes in and out
the heart that beats incessantly
the grain that merges with our flesh
the thought that flickers in our mind
We do none of it
And yet we think; no, we believe
That we do all of it
And this is the human predicament
that blinds us
from the obvious love

The sweet hum of creation

Why would it be revealed to me
The one who dwells in the gross
Soaked in desires of success all day
A base seeker who works more than she contemplates 

The hum, a delicate flower
The softest turn of a woman's waist
The tiniest string of an instrument
The delicate whisper of the mother divine

Revealed only to the one who becomes that fine
Soft cradling in the sensitivity of the heart
Quiet listening in the pulsating silence 
The one like air, who can slowly
delicately push aside the veil of the Beloved
to reveal her shy beauty 
till she roars through my being

Fear

The sinister darkness that lurks behind thought
Its weapon, the very water of you it clenches 
The sticky darkness that divides multifold
Tentacles masquerading as common traits

The greed you feel is not your ambition, no sir
Covetousness wrapped in faux freedom of desire
Wanting to eat, engulf, possess-deep in your depths
The very tentacles of fear, distorted even more
of disappearing if there is nothing possessed

The envy you feel is not inspiration, no sir
Pangs in your heart & chest 
Masquerading as fuel to 'do' in the world
The very tentacles of fear, separating you from all
Violence in its mildest hues
though not mild at all, within you.

Pride of Compassion

Watch the swell of pride

that bursts through your chest

a penny worth offering

you gloat your compassion

A high-nose wad to a scrawny boy

The dogs glutton leftovers you toss

delighted pity for the unfortunate friend

a badge of sympathy vulgarly flashed

Watch the bird that nests and feeds
the hatchling till flight
simply, unheeding of return
striving as is needed

no compassion, no frills

Watch the dog that follows you

eats what you offer it

lives and dies for you
with you

no compassion, no frills

Now look at you

The pride you take

In feeling sorry for another

In sharing a wad, some grub

Just because it is rare

doesn't make it valuable

It is a quiet accepting, allowing

compassion is

a soft inclusion 

a silent sorrow

tears of love

and a sliver of gratitude.

Struggle of Defiance

The caustic burn of defiance
Springing an ugly hood
at the whisper of disagreeable
of unworthy, of unpalatable
perverse victim of convenience.

The chains of righteousness
envelop me so
chest filled with burning breath
afraid to breathe out
afraid to let it go
it fills and fills my chest feud and fire.

The righteousness is an argument
a debate one can win
A victory coated loss
Thats what defiance brings

The numbness of acceptance
yearning for unfeeling, unheeding
flow through muddy waters a turquoise fish
untouched, un-needing
dry, unaffected by the waters
or wet, accepting of the waters
either would provide solace
to my tormented soul.

Envious of the stars that are gone
And yet their light burns through
They hold no burden of life
In the glory of death they shine

It's not the misery of things
Nor of questionable ways
The pain of unquenchable thirst
The ache of unending hunger
Frozen paralysis of compulsion
Of the hustle of life and bustle of folk
Smile and smile and accept in grace
Till the pain is comfortable.
Till the ache is home.

Illusory

The twitch of a finger, the gleam of an eye

The shadows that threaten to materialize

A rumble of fear that swallows all thought

The pulse just short of bursting forth.

The conviction that shakes three worlds of lore

That conviction is seeming in most, true only in two folk

One who has seen all there is to be seen

One who sees only that which he wants to see

The latter a madman, the former a hermit.

The madman I see right before me

I see through his eyes, I see in his mind

The conviction of the offering

The conviction that god thrilled at death

That god if cared of your thoughts on him

That which struck down the disagreeing

That god indeed fragile is it not?

Imagined traits, smeared on the pure.

Heavens with buxom angels and hells of fire.

What if heavens had fire and hells had angels?

Is it not that fire purifies and angels corrupt?

When imagination runs wild the sun is the moon

Being alive would be a curse and death a relieving boon

He paused to allow a bustling crowd

Soothened his rapid heart, whispering false solace

He turned his fear to anger at the folk

Mindless tales of anger that had been told

Mindless anger that helped him stay bold

Finger edgy, a quick prayer, the click of a button

Excruciating pain, a scream that stopped before it escaped

He was torn from himself, torn from what he had known

He was left with anger, seething anger

No angels, no heaven, no beauty shall ever be seen

Consumed in anger and alas

The reason for his anger, he would now never know.

Blind stomp

Varmints, flying feathers and hollow bones

Unimportant and uncomprehending

Care for nothing but sleep and survival

Petty creatures, of inconsequential beauty

My tool as foretold would be fire, stand down

All elements shall wither to the flame by my hand

Trees were made to satiate my hunger

Animals were born to satisfy my sport

The lands were meant to nurture my babes

Flowing water to fill each cell of me

Whats your purpose, ye useless beings

Crawl away, slide away, lest you may be seen

Acquiesce to the image of god before thee

You'd burn if you don't, though you'd burn if you do

The woods know not of the fire of rage. 

Else they would strike a bough to your end

The birds' soft hearts innocent of vengeance

Else the flap of wings would have rendered you blind

The neglect of the mundane would be the death of man

Too gross for wonder, deaf to sweet chirp

Incapable of admiring the sensuality of dunes

The fragile strength of water

The cluckle of a lizard like a disapproving aunt

They tease you, mock you in their loud quietness

The hourglass empties, sand fills your nostrils

Reminding you of impending doom

The bubble of superiority has now burst

At your end you'd know, you are truly alone

Cold stone walls hug the aged temple door
Granular cruelty grinds against the soles
An unheeded step could bruise the toughest toes
The curling of them on the hint of dampness unknown

The sharpness of camphor always hangs low
Admixed with basil and jasmine and curious dung

Chanting relentless, syllables unheard
The rituals seem foreign, the decked idol forbidding
The dab of cold sandal feels absurd

Red rice clustered along palmar crease 

Ignorant of when to toss it, the hows, whys and whats,

Toss it right, toss it with reverence

Too many rules, not a moment of ease.

To hell with all the mind boggling, mindless motions
The glare of the priest at an unintended movement
The intimidation of complexity coaxes my feet to a corner
Lotus down, relieved at the distance from the altar

A breath eases out, I close my eyes in solemn
Chanting flows in, numbing the chimp within
The air is dense, the odor pleasantly heady,

The tranquilizing chime of bells quietens all chatter

The moments so pass, it matters not in number
The hand on my shoulder breaks my non-slumber
This is how it feels to smile without reason
A reason, however, to retrace steps that treaded prior in reluctance
So the stone walls beckon again but now not to the altar
The stone walls that contain that which cannot be pinned
The corner is now my corner, if not that, then some other
I step out without flowers, without sandal, neither red nor rice
I step out only with a skip, a full heart and a ready smile

Rain shards slap down ruthlessly at will
Concealing the tears that flow down skin bare
Lightening may strike down sudden upon my head
But the pain would be a caress in compare

Stuck in the whirlwind of words, listless and lost
The bustle of the world surely pales in time
We distract ourselves so desperately so
From the questions that we really need to know
If we sat and observed, in truth, you'd see
We've nothing to show for, nothing but an emotional sea

Don't be mistaken, the tears aren't just sad
Don't be naive, the pain isn't just my own
There is but one difference, you and me
I've thought and pondered and sulked a while
Whilst you rot blissful in the castle of your own

Don't you see you've accomplished zilch?
Look again, your trophies are but rust
Oh but then, there were just phantoms on withering wood
Mere shiny cups and plates, if you must

Delusions and hallucinations decorate your world
Fables and misconceptions entertain you so
Even if you rouse, your time has passed
The waves have rolled, your breath has halt.

Peep through the crack, she could see
Him walking through the white picket fence
She dreaded the wooden knock that would wake her babe
She longed for it all the same

It surprised her, the pang she felt
The missed beat, never missed no matter the years
The turmoil she felt tormented her
She loved and hated him all the same

She opened the door, the familiar eyes
The brown shiny eyes perfectly framed by glasses
He smiled, it never really touches the hazel
But a smile is a smile all the same

She had to leave, she always knew
But the sight of him always softened her will
She gazed at her sweet breathing softly in the crib
Trying to draw strength, in vain
She had to leave, but needed to stay all the same

Picked her babe and purse on the mantle
She strode out the fence, as he showered
She thought no thoughts, no thoughts no feelings
Key in ignition, on impulse she was relying
Her babe nuzzled softly against her thin frame
Tears welled, but she smiled all the same

Let it be.

Creativity that comes with a degree of ambiguity can be very alluring. A poet should refrain from explaining his poem. An artist shouldn't be asked to dissect his own work. When a creative person presents his work to the world, the best compliment that he could receive is people appreciating it without expecting explanations. It is very hard to explain one's own work. A lot of what comes through is subliminal. Dissection rips it off its beauty. But then dissection is also sometimes capable of revealing beauty.

Listen to the heart that writes,

It has no want for needless whispers.

Rejoice in the eyes that paint,

They have no need for painstaking rant.

There is world of wonder in unexplained tears,

There is charm endearing in words unsaid,

The greys in truth, add color you see

Seek comfort in unknowing, it will set you free

Knotted fingers splayed across white paper

Mosaic creased skin, green veins throb through

She cracked her knuckles against the steely table

Barely breathing whilst she drew

She paused, fingertips pressed against scrawny wrist

Her pulse still felt strong, steady and slow

She sighed, stretched out, observed her hands

Once smooth and beautiful, now tremulous n old

Starchy white paper beneath powdery black charcoal

There is beauty sometimes, in simple stark contrast

But look closely n study, a trained eye will know 

No detail was worthy, no impression would last

There was a time when the lady saw glory

Her touch could put Midas to shame

Each easel, each one held a wonderful story

But in time there was no story to share

Her work, last few were stacked in a corner
It had been months since she had seen the light
Forehead creased, she tried to stop the tremor
No difference, no matter how hard she tried

She sighed once more, at the corner she gazed
There were going to be no more glorious days
She looked around at the wooden walls she built
It was time, about time to see the light again

The stroke of the matchstick, the smell of burnt ash
It burnt through canvas, the corner was a flame
Eyes closed, leaned back, the walls now orange
Smiled softly, she would see the light again

A step taken too far,
A step a step ahead of what I can take
Its foggy its hazy though the lights are alight
No conscience no heartbeat no fear of what might

I can hear raindrops though I see no rain
Blood flows down my temple but I feel no pain
Glance down I see my fingers are red
I can see you but I don't think that you really there

The babies cry cause they know what you don't
The dogs howl cause they see whilst you blind
A step taken too far maybe noticed by none
No conscience at all, no urge to run

Look back through the years, its such a waste of time
Memories, all of em are meant to be dumped
The bad brings regrets, the good sweet pain
The now that matters, is lost again

A step taken too far, you have burnt your toes
No conscience, no pain, but the scar will remain
You can walk, you can run
But the red will still stain

But then just stop and think, none of it is real
There is no right no wrong, no morals that bind
No God is judge, nobody on trial
Do what you do, though the sins may pile

A step taken too far maybe the step that is needed
Red on white fingers, it had to be done
Balance restored, no matter babies no dogs
No conscience, no heartbeat, no fear of what might